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| Lincoln & my dad. July 2012. |
So, last week I was dealing with some serious frustration. I was working with my dad on a flyer for the fundraiser. I got all the details and emailed them to him and he put it all together. I asked the group of mommies I'm working with what info needed to be put on the flyer and I double checked just to be sure. The details of the flyer got changed about 3 times before it was just right. During the changing of it I asked questions and felt that I wasn't getting any straight forward, clear answers on what I should change. I was so frustrated that when I called my dad during the changes of the flyer I was almost in tears. He calmed me down, though, and explained that he had done things like this many, many times. He is a professional graphic designer after all. The flyer got done and it looks great. My dad is one of the best problem solvers I know and he almost always has great advice when I'm frustrated and when I'm not.
I will say, though, in thinking about being frustrated I realized something. I have been frustrated over things I've been working on lately. My child has not really frustrated me, at all. Is that wrong to say? I almost feel like I'm bragging a little bit. I mean I read all these mommy blogs and forums and most of the moms talk about how they get frustrated with things that their child does. Like the huge messes that children make and us mommies end up picking up ourselves or not listening when we ask them to do or not to do something. We also get frustrated with ourselves on how we react to these things that our children do. Like when we yell or discipline in a way that makes both parent and child feel bad. I used to have a problem with yelling whenever Lincoln frustrated me in the past. It didn't work and I felt really bad afterwards. I haven't yelled at Lincoln or Gabe in quite a few months and I'm really proud of myself. I will say I have talked sternly to Lincoln when he is not listening, but I haven't gotten mad or yelled at him. I talk to him in a tone where he understands that I mean business, but he listens better and in the end he learns why he has to listen to me about whatever he wasn't listening to me about.
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| Lincoln asking me "Why?" about a giant tree trunk in the stream by the beach. |
In the past couple of months Lincoln has really gotten into asking "Why?" whenever we tell him to do or not to do something. He will ask it over and over again no matter how in depth we explain something. At first I got frustrated with this and would just throw up my hands in defeat. But in the past few weeks when he asks "Why?" we answer to the best of our ability and if he asks it again we tell him "because that's just the way it is and I can't explain any further" and if he asks again after that we just change the subject. It really seems to work. His asking "Why?" all the time is one of the reasons we have started having him pick a topic every week to every other week that he wants to learn about. So far we have learned about turtles, rhinos, and bones & animal anatomy, respectively. Our next topic is waterfalls, which I'm looking forward to. Not only is Lincoln learning about things he is interested in, but I'm learning along with him.
We also have to realize, in parenting, we parents are not the only ones who get frustrated. Our children get frustrated, as well. Sometimes this triggers us to get frustrated, not with the child necessarily but perhaps with the situation. Children are little people and they are figuring out how the world around them works (of course, I think even as adults we are still doing that) and when something doesn't work they way they want it to or the way they think it should they get frustrated. I know Lincoln gets frustrated when he can't figure out how one of his toys works and he will sometimes throw a little fit and we will ask him what's wrong. He will show us and we will ask him to politely ask for help. All of this is done in a calm matter so that he learns to calmly and politely ask for help. We then show him how what he can't figure out works and once we do that he can usually do it on his own. Even as adults we sometimes get frustrated when we can't figure out how something works.
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| frustrated Lincoln. I'm sure we've all felt like this at one time or another. |
My latest frustration came today at work. My boss is moving and we are changing her address on everything. I will say that AT&T makes it very difficult to do this online, which is the way they recommend. You have to set up an online account with them and then link your specific phone number or whatever kind of package you have with them to your online account and then you're supposed to confirm this. I couldn't find anywhere a confirmation, not in our email or anywhere in the messages on our account. I tried to link them up several times and it just would not work. I got a little frustrated because the internet is, usually, supposed to be the easiest way to do stuff like this. So, I ended up just writing down the 800 number for my boss. I feel that my job has helped me learn better problem solving skills and if it doesn't work one way try another way.
We all get frustrated at times in life, it's inevitable. There are going to be situations and people that frustrate us and we all have to learn how to deal with it. You know, the many of us question math class in middle school and high school. I'm sure that many of you at one time or another asked your math teacher "when am I going to use this in real life?". Well folks, here is where you're going to use it: when you're frustrated and need to use problem solving skills. We learn problem solving in math and we use quite often in real life whether we realize it or not (Gabe made me aware of this a few weeks ago). So, when you get frustrated just remember to take a few deep breaths and then use your problem solving skills (I know it isn't always this simple, but most of the time it can be).
Blogly Question(s):
What frustrates you the most? Do you get frustrated a lot? How do you deal with your frustration?
