Find a Way To Follow Me

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

So What Wednesday



I am linking up. This week I am saying So What if...

  • I changed my diet so that I'm not having horrible headaches anymore.
  • I can't think of any new topics to blog about.
  • We let Lincoln stay up waaaaay past his bedtime last night.
  • All we did over the weekend was watch movies.
  • I've been re-watching the Magic Mike preview on YouTube just a little too much.
  • This heat is causing me to be a tad impatient.

And that's what I'm saying So What to this week. I'm hoping that tomorrow I will have a topic to write about. I'm really hoping that this heat will stop making it so I can't think straight.

What are you saying So What to this week?


 

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Instant Results

I don't know if it has to do with growing up in a culture where we get everything instantly or in a home where I usually got what I wanted. I always want instant results. It's one of the reasons I can't stick to a diet or commit to finishing pretty much anything. Because nothing happens instantly, even instant oatmeal doesn't happen instantly. You have to wait for the water to boil first and then add the preferred amount and stir. I think the majority of Americans like instant results on a lot of stuff. If we're fat we want to be thin and now. If we're poor we want to be rich and now. If we're hungry we want to be fed and now. But it doesn't work that way. Unfortunately, society is teaching us and our children that it does work that way.

There are tons of different fad diets and weight loss regimes and items out there. There are people who claim they have tried just about every single one. All of these items that we see on TV "guarantee" that we will lose weight in just 30 days or 10lbs in 2 weeks or any other crazy amount of weight in a short period of time. I know the real way to work at losing weight and getting fit. Eating right and exercising. It's been proven with real results, they may not be instant results, but the results will come in time.

Americans are very demanding people. I don't know how we got that way or maybe we've always been that way.  But it's apparent that we want what we want and we want it right now. I'm not saying all of us are like this, but I'm sure that we're all aware of this behavior in our society. What it really comes down to is that people just do not have patience any more. I am really working on teaching Lincoln how to be patient. I know it is a hard concept for a young child to learn, but the sooner he learns it the better. I know that I am not always the most patient person, but in most situations I do my best to keep my cool.

I know that a lot of us want things right now and we want to do as little work as possible to get what we want. But maybe we need to learn to work for the things we really want and to be patient. We also need to teach our children these things. We always need to be setting the best example for our children.

Blogly Question(s):

Have you had moments where you wanted instant results? Have you had moments where you just couldn't be patient about something?


 

Sunday, August 26, 2012

I'm Getting Ready For....

This is the new Sunday night post tradition I started last week. In which I tell you what I am getting ready for this week.

It's Sunday & I'm Getting Ready For:

  • Work tomorrow, as usual. At the job I love with my wonderful boss.
  •  Tuesday we may be going to Story Time. Not sure if any of the moms are hosting it this week.
  • A playdate on Wednesday with one of my best friends. We were supposed to go over there last week, but Lincoln and I were still getting over our cold. So, after rescheduling for the past 3 weeks will for sure be going there this week.
  • Thursday we will make our weekly trip to the library and get way too many books, as usual.
  • Also since I didn't go out for my day by myself last week I may go out this week and see a friend.
  • This week I will also be continuing my diet. Day 2 is going better than Day 1. 
Can't really think of anything else we have to get ready for this week or that we are preparing to do. Looks like we have a pretty easy week ahead. Of course, something could suddenly come up.

What are you getting ready for this week?

 

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Day 1: New Diet

I told you all in a recent post that I would be starting a new diet with Gabe. At first we had decided that do a no chewing diet for the next 2-3 months. But then Gabe suggested that we should eat one meal a week that is meat and veggies. I agreed and so I'm happy that we get to do that. I'm happy that we're doing this diet and that when we're done will be changing our lifestyle when it comes to food. I know that these first few days are going to be the hardest. I know that eventually I will not feel so hungry all the time. I figured every once in awhile I would write a post about how the diet is going.

I've tried to change my eating habits before and I've tried to diet before, as well. I never could commit to it. I would always give into my cravings for sweets or I would see any instant results when it came to losing weight so I would get depressed and eat junk food. I know that if I want to lose weight it's not just about changing my eating habits. I have to get into the habit of exercising on a regular basis too. I know all of this, it's just a matter of sticking with it. At least this time Gabe & I are doing this together and so we can support each other.

I'm looking forward to feeling better and, hopefully, losing some weight. Today is just the first day and I'm sure that in a week I'll be doing much better. I won't be constantly thinking about getting to eat actual food. I'll be used to drink smoothies all day and I will be getting into an exercise routine. I'm really going to push myself this time and not slip back into old habits. I want to be healthier and live longer and set a good example for Lincoln. I mean, I'm really doing this for myself and for my family. The road ahead looks long and difficult right now. But I know that before I know it, it will be November and I will be feeling so much better and so much healthier. I will get there, I can do this.

Blogly Question(s):

Have you ever done a diet like this? How was your experience? Do you ever have a tough time committing to changing your eating habits for the better?

Thursday, August 23, 2012

How Do You Know If You're A Good Mom?

I'm doing this as a sort of continuation/follow up to the previous post. I think many moms ask each other this and we wonder it ourselves. We wonder if we're doing a good enough job or a good job at all. We often wonder if what we're doing is the right thing. Like I said before, unless you are abusing or neglecting your child, there is no wrong way to parent. Sometimes we even make the right choice and feel guilty about it. I know there are times when I can't give Lincoln what he wants and I feel bad about it. I hate disappointing my child and seeing him sad. But I also know that he has to learn that he doesn't always get what he wants, as hard as this is for me to do.

Here's something I've been wondering about, why do we never hear about Daddy Guilty? I never really hear dads say they feel bad or guilty for doing or not doing something with their children. Is this because dads are often times under-minded by their wives so much, so they don't feel bad when they get to make a choice with out it being second guessed by the mother? I know I have done this to my husband. I have not agreed with something he is doing when it comes to parenting Lincoln and it starts an argument. Or I've found out he did something and I don't agree with it. At this point I just figure whatever. Gabe is Lincoln's father and he knows what he's doing just as much I know what I'm doing.

I also know that we, as parents, feel guilty when something happens to our child that is out of our control. When they get sick or when they get hurt. Parents should not feel guilty when these things happen. There are things that happen that are completely out of our control. We do not get to choose if our children are born with autism or not. We don't get to choose if they get a horrible illness or not. These are things that are up to the universe and, perhaps, a higher power if you believe in that. We cannot control everything that happens or doesn't happen to our children. The same goes for our own lives. Sometimes we just need to trust that everything will be okay in our lives and our children's lives.

Like I said in the previous post, guilt doesn't solve anything. If something doesn't go the way you had planned it to or expected to in your own life or in your child's life don't feel guilty. When it comes to something we cannot control it is not our fault if it happens. We cannot blame ourselves for everything that does not go according to plan in life. All we can do is stay strong and hope and pray that everything turns out for the best. We can also support one another as parents and tell each other that it's not our fault and we should not feel guilty.

Support is very important in parenthood. I think that sometimes Mommy Guilt comes from Mommy Wars. Mothers argue about how they parent their child and each one feels that they are the only right one and at least one mom is going to come out of that feeling guilty about some choice she made when it came to her children. This is not okay. I feel that we already blame ourselves enough in life, we don't need some one else doing it as well. Mothers and fathers need to support one another, we need to be able to turn to one another for advice. And when another parent asks for advice, that doesn't mean that we make that parent feel bad for the choice they made. We offer our comfort and gentle advice. We support and help that parent feel better about the choice they made.

So, lets remember to support one another and not make each other feel worse about a choice we feel guilty for. Lets help support those that are going through a situation that they cannot control. We should really just remember to be helpful and supportive to each other all the time. When a parent is in need of some advice or support or maybe even just a hug, we should be there as parents to help them. We should be there as good-hearted people to help them. We need to be more kind, gentle, and understanding of one another.

Once again, if you are in need of some support or advice or would like an anonymous place to confess any mommy guilty you maybe be having I strongly recommend checking out Scary Mommy. This site is a great resource for all of this. 

 

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Mommy Guilt

All of us Mommies feel guilty at one time or another when it comes to how we parent or something we did as a parent. We feel guilty about the way we birthed, the way we feed our children, the way we teach our children, the way we discipline our children. Why do we feel guilty? Because we question ourselves on if what we did was right and we compare ourselves to other moms and wonder if what we're doing is wrong and what they're doing is right.

For a long time I felt guilty about switching Lincoln over from breastmilk to formula. I exclusively breastfed for the first 3 months of Lincoln's life. Then one day he wanted to nurse every hour and I just couldn't produce milk fast enough for him. So, Gabe and I went to the store and got formula and started supplementing one to two meals a day with formula. By the time Lincoln was six months old he refused the breast and only wanted the bottle. I was sad about this because I enjoyed getting to bond with him while breastfeeding. But I was also relieved because I no longer had to worry about when and if he would bite me when his teeth came in and I no longer had to watch a clock and sit and wonder how much longer this sweet child would be nursing. I also know now that if I had been more relaxed and more educated about breastfeeding then I would have most likely had an easier time with it. But I wasn't and so I fed him the way I felt was right and he is now a healthy 3-year-old little boy that eats solid food. It took me over a year to realize that what I did wasn't wrong. My child needed food and nutrients and he wasn't getting enough from me. I did what I saw as the right thing to do so that my child would grow and be healthy and happy. I don't feel guilty about that anymore.

I know that there are women out there that feel guilty about the way they gave birth. I also know that many of these woman gave birth in a hospital and probably had unnecessary c-sections. Please do not feel guilty about how you brought a child into this world. When I made the choice to give birth to Lincoln at a birth center, with a midwife, all natural, and a water birth that is something that I had been exposed to as a child. My mother gave birth to my brother at home with the help of a midwife and without drugs. However, before I got pregnant I told Gabe that I wanted to have my baby at the hospital and I wanted to have a c-section. I had no desire to go through the pain of pushing a child out the natural way. But after doing some research I found that a c-section was actually harder because it's major surgery that you have to recover from. I know that not every woman is fully educated about where and how she is going to give birth. I'm sure that many women say they are going to go to a hospital, because that's what seems normal. But things maybe don't always go the way a woman expected them to go when she has her baby in the hospital. Please don't feel guilty about this and don't feel like you made a mistake. You made the choice that you felt comfortable and safe with and what you knew. We all bring our children into the world in different ways and when it comes to birth sometimes you can't make it go the way you expected or wanted.

If you feel guilty about something to did as a parent, don't. There are no mistakes, nothing is wrong, nothing is right. Everything is a learning experience. That's how we should look at it. We shouldn't feel guilty because we birthed differently then our friends did or because we breastfed or didn't breastfeed. We shouldn't feel guilty because we let them watch way to much TV one day or because we let them eat junk food too late one night. It's all about learning what works and what doesn't work for you and your family. I don't know any Mommy that hasn't dealt with feeling guilty about at least one choice they made as a parent. We are constantly learning as parents what works and what doesn't and we're teaching our children at the same time. When our children grow up and if they choose to become parents they will use tools that they learned as a child that they felt worked and they will discard those that they felt didn't work. I know that's what Gabe and I do. We both use methods that our parents used that we feel work and if they don't work for us then we find our own way.

To quote the character of Terry Bellefleur on True Blood (one of my favorite shows): "Guilt is a useless emotion." It's true. Where does guilt get us? Nowhere really. We feel bad about a decision we made and feeling guilty about it only makes us feel worse. Feeling guilty is not going to solve anything. What will solve something is learning from the choice you made. If you felt it was right then it's something you'll probably do again and if you felt it was wrong then you will find a new way to go about solving it. 

If you're feeling guilty about something, please stop. It's not solving anything, you're only making yourself feel sad and worse about the choice you made. Learn from it, figure out why it made you feel guilty and tell yourself that you'll figure out a way of doing what you did in a way that won't make you feel guilty. Parenthood is a learning experience for us all, please remember that.

Blogly Question(s):

Do you have Mommy Guilt? What about? Why do feel guilty?

If you are feeling guilty about anything and need a place to vent or a place for support I highly recommend checking out Scary Mommy . You can use their confession that's completely anonymous and there are boards there on so many different topics. There are also tons of resources and she writes a great blog. So if you're feeling stressed, guilty or whatever and just don't know who to turn to I really recommend checking out the site.





Monday, August 20, 2012

The Story of our Engagement

Today I am writing my 50th post. When I wrote my 10th post about how Gabe and I met I thought to myself that 50 posts was so far away and I wouldn't get there for quite awhile. Well here it is, 50 posts and I thought I would write a special post. I wanted to tell you all the story of how Gabe and I got engaged.

In May of 2006 I moved out of my parents house and rented a room in a house in Petaluma. I was right in between work and Gabe which was nice. The house I lived in was nice, the woman whom I rented from was not so much. At the beginning of August 2006 Gabe and I left to go on our trip to Utah. Before I left I gave my landlady 30 days notice that I would be moving out. Gabe and I agreed that when we got back from our trip he would tell his parents that we were moving in together. Gabe's parents are a bit old fashioned and believe that you shouldn't live together until you are either married or engaged. So for us to not be either we knew would not be entirely okay with them. So, a few days after we got back from our trip I was talking to Gabe on the phone and asked if he had told his parents that we were moving in together yet. He said he was going to go do that as soon as we got off the phone. I told him to go ahead and tell them and then call me back.

About 15 minutes or so after we got off the phone Gabe called me back. I asked him how it went and he said that his parents asked if we are moving in together why are we not getting married. Gabe told them that he and I didn't really have the money nor did my parents for us to get married. They told Gabe that if we wanted to get married then they would help pay for the wedding. When Gabe told me this I asked him "So, we're getting married?" and he said "yes" and I said "really?" he again told me "yes". I was so excited and thrilled and just so many happy emotions that I began to cry.

(not my exact ring)
The Christmas before Gabe had given me a very nice ring with six little diamonds and a pink sapphire as the main jewel (pink is my favorite color). He asked if it would be okay to use that as the engagement ring and I was more than happy to do that. I know that according to the experts a man is supposed to spend 3 months salary on an engagement ring. If Gabe had done that then we would have spent an unnecessary amount of money on a ring and the ring would have been annoyingly huge. I would much rather put 3 months worth of salary towards something like buying a house or a nice vacation. So anyways my ring. We had to get it resized. We took it to a local jewelers that knows Gabe's family and they resized it to fit my ring finger. When Gabe got it back we were packing up my room to movie it to the new place we had found to rent. Gabe told me he had the ring and asked if I wanted it then or if I wanted to wait. I told him I wanted it then. He pulled it out and asked me if I wanted to marry him and I said yes (of course).

A few days later we were living in our new room we were renting. We found out the day we moved in that we would have to move out in 30 days. We knew when we rented the master bedroom in this really nice big craftsman style house that it was on the market to be sold. We did not think it would have sold so fast, but it did. Luckily, Gabe's parents had an opening at one of their apartments and said we could move in at the end of the month. So there we were lying in bed at the room we had rented, just days away from having to move out and I told Gabe that I wanted an actual proposal, because I felt ours had been so informal. He asked me for the ring and proposed there in bed again. I said not like that, I don't want to be proposed to in bed. Of course he was upset by this. I apologized for being rash and rude. But I told him I didn't want to wear the ring until he actually proposed to me.

A few weekends later we took our dogs out to the coast. We went out to Goat Rock Beach past Bodega Bay. It was an overcast day, but it wasn't too cold. We walked the dogs down to the beach and then found a nice rock to sit on. We sat there watching other people walk by with their dogs and watched the tide go in and out. We talked a little bit about this, that and the other. Then there was a lull of silence and as I was looking at out the ocean Gabe said to me, "so you want to marry me?" very casually. I said, "yes of course" and he asked "really?". That's when I looked over and saw that he was holding the ring. I smiled and told him yes again and he placed the ring on my finger.

So the official story is that Gabe proposed to me at the beach and I said yes. Soon enough I will post the story of our wedding. I would include it with this, but I realized that it would make for an extremely long post. So, when I hit another big number post on here  I will post that story and all the planning and stress that went into our wedding. I like the story of how we got engaged, even if I did overreact a little about how I was proposed to.

Blogly Question(s):

Do you have an interesting story about how your spouse proposed to you? Do you like your engagement story?



Sunday, August 19, 2012

I'm Getting Ready For....

So I thought for my Sunday posts I would start doing a new thing where I tell you what I'm getting ready for this week. So here we go....

This Week I am getting ready for:

  • Work tomorrow morning. Which I love, because I love my job.
  • A playdate at the park on Tuesday with a Mommy Friend that we haven't seen in over a year.
  • My birthday on Wednesday....I don't mind getting older, in fact at this point it's just another day to me.
  • Hopefully having a playdate with one of my very good friends and her daughter. We've had to reschedule that past two weeks because we thought her daughter had a cold, but it turned out it was just allergies. Really hoping that Lincoln will be all better by Tuesday and I will not get this cold.
  • Eating my last real meals this week, because Saturday Gabe and I will be starting a no chewing diet for 2-3 months. It is not to lose weight, it's to get out of the habit of chewing just to chew. I eat basically whenever we are watching TV and I want to teach myself to only chew/eat when I'm hungry. Also I think drinking smoothies will flush toxins out of my body. I also know that when I am done with this I will not be eating the way I am now. This will be a lifestyle change and I'm nervous and excited for it.
  • Our weekly library trip in which we check out way too many books and then go home and read all of them while Lincoln eats his lunch.
  • A possibly day out on my own. Gabe and I each go out on our own about 1-2 times a month. This helps us relax and have time to do something we want to on our own.
  • More blog posts. I even have tomorrows already planned. Beyond that I will have to look at my list of topics that I haven't not written about. 
  • More work on my blog. I'm going to do my best to add more things that I have researching that should be added to a blog if you want to really get it out there. 

And there it is. The first list of things I'm getting ready for this week.
Go ahead and share what you are getting ready for this week. 

 


Saturday, August 18, 2012

Summer Colds

It is the worst to get a cold during the summer. I would know, I have had them. Lincoln woke up this morning at 4am congested and upset about it. He fell back to sleep, but when he woke up at 7:30am he was still congested and has had a runny nose all day. We thought maybe it was just allergies and gave him some allergy medicine. But the runny nose stayed. So, we have been taking it easy all day. A cold never seems to slow him down, unless he has a fever. But when he just has a runny nose and a cough he still seems to have about the same energy level. It's hard because he wants to play and run and jump and we have to tell him that he has to relax and take it easy. We did take him on a little walk this evening just to get some fresh air. He is now sound asleep and hopefully will sleep through the night.

This is not the first cold any of us has had this summer. We all got a head cold over Father's Day weekend this year. I got it the Wednesday before and was feeling almost completely better by that Saturday. Lincoln only had a little runny nose and Gabe got it the worst. He felt horrible that entire weekend. He was achey and congested. It was just no fun at all. I think it's worse when all of us get sick, because Gabe and I feel miserable and Lincoln still has the same amount of energy for the most part. So he doesn't really understand that we all need to rest. It's frustrating for him and I can understand that. I was a kid once and I didn't like getting sick and having to stay home all day when I was a young child. It's no fun when you don't get to go out and play and run around and jump on the bed.

There was one summer when I was 15 almost 16 and I was sick for most of the month of July. It started out with this tickle in my throat that would not go away. I couldn't stop coughing, but I didn't have any congestion. It was just a very dry cough. After about a week of a dry cough I started getting congested. A few days later I had a fever and that night I threw up. Then my cold started to go away. It was a very strange cold and it was during the summer. It was no fun, having to rest as much as I could. I went out a few times when I had that cold, before I got congested. But even then I wasn't having that much fun because I was coughing so much.

I'm glad that Lincoln deals with having a cold pretty well. I'm also glad that he seems to get over them fairly quickly. I know that having a cold during the summer is no fun. But I also know that he'll be over it soon enough and back to playing outside and running all over the place. Even when you're sick and you want to go out it's no fun. You'd rather be at home relaxing and getting better, so that you can have fun and feel good when you get to go out and do something. I know Lincoln doesn't understand that now, but he'll understand it some day.

I hope you all are having an enjoyable summer and aren't dealing with any colds. But if you are dealing with a summer cold, then I suggest maybe finding a good movie to watch and cuddling up with the family and just having a nice relaxing day at home. Sometimes it's nice to just cuddle up with the family, sick or not.


Blogly Question(s):

Have you ever had to deal with having a cold during the summer or your children having one? Do your children still have tons of energy when they are sick?

Preschool: Yay or Nay? (snippet)

I published this post on my BlogHer profile. I am only posting a snippet here. Head on over to my BlogHer profile and check it out.



 My husband and I have decided not to send our son to preschool. He will not start school until he is 5-years-old or older. My husband is the one that first suggested this and I went along with it, reluctantly at first. See I started going to school when I was 3 1/2, only a few months older than my son is now. That's what I knew and was familiar with. I also went to Montessori school which starts it's kindergarten at as young as 2 1/2. This is what I knew about early education and I enjoyed going to my Montessori school. For the first year I only went for 3 hours, 9am-12pm. I always wanted to stay later and eat lunch with all the big kids. My mom told me that when I was 4-years-old I would be able to stay and eat lunch with the big kids. My husband was 5-years-old when he started school. This is what he knows and is familiar with. Both his parents are also teachers, so he is much more familiar with the education system than I am.


I published this post on my BlogHer profile. I am only posting a snippet here. Head on over to my BlogHer profile and check it out.


Thursday, August 16, 2012

I'm Talking Right Now

Why is it that whenever you begin a conversation with a friend or relative in person or on the phone your child feels the need to start having a conversation with you at the same time? Do they think you're talking to them and so they must talk back? Or do they just feel they must be included in the conversation in any way? I swear, every time I call someone and start talking to them Lincoln comes up to me and starts having a conversation with me about anything. This most commonly happens when I am on the phone with my dad or maybe it just seems that way since I call my dad the most.

I think it's great that Lincoln has started having conversations with us and I love when children learn to talk and just can't stop. But what is it about us talking with someone else that just urges them to come and talk to us. Lincoln likes to have conversations about pretty much anything. He'll tell me all about what he's doing or what he wants to do or what we did yesterday. I wonder if he wants to speak to my dad, so I ask him if he wants to talk to his Pop-Pop and 99% of the time he says no . So then I end up having a partial conversation with my dad or telling Lincoln that he has to wait because I'm on the phone right now. He usually listens to me, but sometimes he insists that I get off the phone so that I can talk to him.

I remember doing the same thing to my mom when I was a young child. As soon as she started talking on the phone I would go up to her and start talking to her about anything. She would tell whoever she was talking to to hold on and then explain to me that she was on the phone right now and that I would have to wait to talk to her unless it was an emergency. I don't know why I did. Maybe it was something about hearing my moms voice that I felt I needed her to hear my voice, as well, at that exact moment.

I love that Lincoln has conversations with me. I also think it's great that anything he has to tell me has to be heard "right now!". Hearing your child speak is simply wonderful. Their little voices and they way they enunciate and articulate are just so lovely to hear. To watch how two children communicate with one another is just wonderful to watch, as well. I love hearing Lincoln and his friends talk with each other and everything they have to say to each other and just the things they tell one another. It's simply adorable. Hearing a child speak the words they have learned and put them together in a sentence is amazing. And to think that we, as parents, taught them all that.

I guess our children just feel that if we are being heard by someone then they must be heard by us at that exact moment. If you want your child to have a conversation with you, I guarantee that if you pick up the phone or you start having a conversation with another adult they will come and talk to you. Children just feel the need to always be heard.


Blogly Question(s):

Do your children feel that they must be heard as soon as you start a conversation with another adult?


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Being Intimate is a Good Thing

Something that really bothers me is women who are not willing to have sex with their husbands or have any sort of intimacy with him. The same goes for men that are not willing to do the same with their wives. I know that after a couple has children it is sometimes hard to keep the romance alive and have regular sex. But I mean once they're past a year old is it really that hard? or do you just not feel like being intimate with your partner for your own personal reasons?

I only know what it's like from a woman's perspective when it comes to all of this. I've also only heard from women that do or do not enjoy or do or do not want to be intimate with their partner. First of all I would like to say that I enjoy being intimate with my husband and we have regular adult time. It wasn't always this way. For about 3-4 months after Lincoln was born I was on a birth control that completely killed my sex drive. Actually it pretty much killed any romantic feelings I would have had towards Gabe. I just didn't feel like doing anything other than taking care of Lincoln. I didn't feel like being close to Gabe at all. I soon figured out that it wasn't me, it was my birth control and I stopped taking it. Soon enough I was back to feeling like being close and intimate with my wonderful husband. But I know there are women out there that are not on a birth control that is killing their intimacy. There are women that, for whatever reason, don't feel like being intimate with their partner on any sort of regular basis.

Before I go any further I would like to note that I am not referring to people that are unable to be intimate for certain medical reasons. I am referring to healthy able bodied people that have been intimate with their partner and then when children come along think that they don't have to do that anymore. I understand that when you have a new baby it's not easy to have regular adult time with your partner. But I think once a child is about a year old or so it becomes easier to do this. I also understand if you have more than one child that that can make things a bit more difficult when it comes to being intimate.

Here's something else I want to explain, when I say "being intimate" I'm not necessarily talking about having sex. You can hug, kiss, and cuddle one another just fine in front of your children. In fact, it's really good to show affection to one another when your children can witness it. At least I think it's healthy for a child to see that their parents love one another. Being romantic and intimate and loving towards one another is a very important part of a healthy relationship. I honestly don't think a relationship can survive with out some sort of intimacy. Without it aren't you basically just two friends living together, if that?

I know I'm not a typical woman and I'm usually not one to be on another woman's side about stuff like this. I know that I'm kind of a guy when it comes to topics like this. But, I'm sorry, I feel and think that being intimate is vital part of a relationship and I think it is a couples responsibility to please one another. I know that you're not going to feel like it all of the time and that's not what I'm saying. But you should at least feel like it most of the time. You should feel like giving your partner a hug and a kiss and cuddling with them. You should want to snuggle in bed with them at night. I believe that doing these kinds of things with one another keeps a relationship strong and happy.

I know having a child can make it difficult to have sex on a regular basis. At least in the beginning. But I'm rather confused by all these couples that get excited because it's their night to "do the deed". I think scheduling sex takes the excitement out of it. It makes it routine and boring, in my opinion. Have spontaneous sex once your children are asleep for the night or if you're both home at nap time do it then. Also when you refuse to do it at all, for whatever reason, then it can be frustrating to your partner. I know couples where the woman doesn't really want to have sex at all. Here's something I want to explain to you women that are like that. When you have sex the chemical Oxytocin is released, same chemical that releases when you breastfeed, it makes you feel happy and relaxed. So when you say you don't want to have sex because you're stressed or in a bad mood or have had a long day, that's the best time to have sex because it'll make you feel better.  

When one of the people in a relationship is constantly refusing to be intimate with their partner, don't you think that that makes the other person feel bad? They're being pushed away by their partner and not always being explained to why their partner is doing this. All this person is doing is trying to show that they love their partner and the other person in the relationship is just pushing their partner further and further away when they refuse to be intimate the majority of the time. Some people cheat because they're getting everything they want in their relationship, yet they are still not satisfied for whatever reason. Others cheat because they are not satisfied in their relationship and haven't been in a long time. People wonder why their partners cheat and sometimes it may be because they are constantly pushing their partner away by not showing them any sort of physical love and attention. If someone is not getting the love and attention they deserve, whether it be physical or emotional, then what makes their partner think they're not going to go off and find that somewhere else?

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh or mean, but it's the truth in my opinion. If our emotional and physical needs are not being met in our relationship then why shouldn't we find someone else who is willing to do that for us? or why should we not give our partners emotional and physical love and attention they deserve? It's goes both ways in a relationship and we have to work together. In a relationship we all have responsibilities we need to hold up to in order for it to work and if someone in the relationship is not willing to do that then perhaps it is time to move on. I know this is harder to do when you have children and that a lot of couples that do have children feel that they shouldn't get divorced for the children's sake. If there is no arguing and you are basically just two friends that are raising your children together then maybe this works. But if there is no love and constant arguing and bickering then it may be time to think about ending the relationship. Just like showing that you love one another in front of your children is healthy for them, doing the opposite is not. Constantly arguing and bickering in front of your children is not good for them. At that point your relationship has become toxic and you are not showing your children a good example of a healthy relationship.

I just hope that all of you out there are truly and deeply in love with your partner. That this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. No matter how much they annoy you sometimes, you know that you will always love them. A relationship has it's ups and downs, but I think it should be mostly ups. We should always be having fun together in a relationship and having fun together as a family. Children are made by two people that love each other (most of the time) and they are made when that love is expressed in the most intimate way. Speaking on the majority, all humans are a symbol of their parents love for one another.

Blogly Question(s):

How do you keep the romance alive in your relationship? Do you still go out on dates with your partner?


Monday, August 13, 2012

You Feed Your Child What??

We feed Lincoln a pretty balance diet. Meat, carbs, dairy, fruits, veggies. The fruits and veggies are a little bit harder to get him to eat, so we make him smoothies and also have him drink V8 Splash. I do my best to make sure that my child is getting all the nutrients he needs. Most of my mommy friends feed their children about the same as we feed Lincoln or even healthier than we do. I am glad that my mommy friends are aware that their children need to eat a variety of things to get the nutrients they need to grow. But then there are parents that feed their children food that I wouldn't even eat.

These are the parents that take their children to fast food restaurants on a pretty regular basis. Their children don't drink 100% juice or much water. They eat lots of processed foods and foods that don't have any nutrients at all. I understand that not everyone can afford to buy organic food, but most families with working parents can afford to buy real food and prepare real meals. I understand being tired at the end of the day from working and not having the energy to make a real meal. I know it's so much easier to pick up the phone and call someone else who will make the food and deliver it to your door. But when it comes to your child's health easier doesn't always mean better.

Both of my parents worked full time jobs while I was growing up. For awhile only my dad was working and my mom was a stay-at-home. But when my brother was about 4-years-old my mom went to dental school. So, she was at school all day and sometimes past dinner time. Then both her and my dad had full time jobs and they still managed to cook us healthy dinners every night and make sure that we had breakfast in the morning and a good lunch. We would only go out to eat on special occasions. On Friday or Saturday nights we would usually ordered pizza or get some sort of take-out and watch a movie and eat in the living room. This was the only time we were allowed to do this. Sunday through Thursday nights we all sat down and ate dinner as a family and had a home cooked meal. I am glad that my parents did this and it is something I am working on doing with my family. We have been eating a lot of home cooked meals, but we're still working on sitting down at the table and eating them all together.

There is a reason childhood obesity is a huge problem in America right now. Actually, obesity in general is a huge problem in America. See fast food is cheaper, foods that are bad for you tend to be cheaper. America has been in a recession for quite awhile and so people are either out of work or their hours are getting cut back. Many people are making very little money and so they buy cheap food which is usually not very good food. I always wondered why canned foods and junk food was so much cheaper.....I know why it's cheaper, but I'm not going to get into it because it all comes back to politics and I really don't have the energy to get into that anymore.

There are nights when I'm tired and don't feel like cooking. There are times when I'm bored of having the same food every week for dinner. If any of you parents out there are like this when it comes to preparing meals I recommend you either get a cookbook or look up recipes online. Tomorrow night I will be cooking my first crockpot meal and am looking forward to it. It will be something new and prepared in a way I have never made food before. I'm very excited. I went to the store with Lincoln today and we bought all the ingredients we will need. Lincoln and I will also be making cupcakes tomorrow afternoon. I know that cupcakes are not healthy, but I have a horrible sweet tooth. Plus I make all my baked goods completely from scratch so I know what's going into them.

Here's a great part about cooking and baking, you can get your children involved in it. Lincoln loves helping with making food. He likes to dump the cups full of ingredients into the mixer when I bake and he likes helping get together ingredients for when we cook dinner. He also really likes watching how meals are made. I think it's great to get your child involved in cooking. I remember pretending to cook when I was pretty young. I thought I was making salad one time, but really it was just some lettuce in a bowl full of salad dressing. I was just so eager to help out in making something for dinner and my parents knew that's what I was doing. From a young age I have enjoyed baking and cooking and I can see that Lincoln enjoys it very much as well.

So remember, easier is not always better and having your children help make a meal or watch how something is made is good for them and it's a lot of fun. I know you are tired and I know that we don't all have a ton of money, but lets try and do our best to feed our children healthier meals.


Blogly Question(s):

What are some of your favorite meals to make? Do your children like helping or watching?



Sunday, August 12, 2012

Coming Soon: Changes....

There are two changes coming up for me this month, the first has to do with my diet. In a couple of weeks Gabe and I are going to start a new diet. It's a no chewing diet. We will be living off of fruit and veggie smoothies. I'm looking forward to cleansing my body and losing some weight. But I'm also nervous. We're planning on doing it for 2 months and I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it. I know I have the will power to do this, but right now it seems like a long road ahead. I'm planning to cook meals this week and next week to freeze for Lincoln. So that I don't have to stand over cooking food when I won't be the one eating it. It'll be a big change, but I know it'll be for the best.

I haven't lost any of my baby weight from having Lincoln. In fact, I even gained some after I had him. I'm not really good at committing to diets or exercise. I'll be good for about a week or so and then I get my cravings for sweets. I have a horrible sweet tooth. I am proud of myself though, lately, for not buying candy at the checkout stand at the grocery store. Now I just get the urge to bake and eat what I make. I feel a bit better about eating sweets that way because then I know what's going into them. For the past few weeks Lincoln and I have been making cupcakes. His favorite is what we call Monkey Cupcakes, they're chocolate peanut butter banana with a peanut butter buttercream frosting. They're very yummy. This week I am going to make banana cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.

These cupcakes are not going to be all for me and my boys. I will be taking a majority of them to Mommy Group this week. That is the second change. This Thursday will be our last Mommy Group. We have been going for almost 3 years and it has been one of the best things in my life. We have made great friends and have gotten wonderful support. We will still have Storytime on Tuesdays, but we will no longer be going to group at the Birth Center. The room is getting too small for my growing child and I know that some others in the same age group will be leaving, as well. I don't know what I would have done without these other wonderful mommies.

And there it is, the two changes that are happening in my life this month. Not huge changes, but still changes nevertheless. I look forward to the road ahead with my diet and with no more Mommy Group. I think I'll be arranging a lot more one-on-one playdates for Lincoln and his friends. He actually has one this week with a good friend of mine and her daughter. He and I always look forward to spending time with our friends. As nervous as I am about the change to my diet and as much as I'll miss Mommy Group I know things will be just fine and I will be able to stick with this new diet.


Blogly Question(s):

Do you have any changes coming up for yourself or your family? Are you excited or nervous or both?


 

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Milestones

Lincoln showing off his muscles. May 2012
Today Lincoln counted all the way to 10 all by himself. I was very proud. He wanted to keep going past 10 with my help. He has been able to count up to 3 pretty well, but needed help with going all the way up to 10. Today he wanted to count a picture of butterflies, so all I did was point to each one and he said the number without me having to say it first. It was so exciting! Milestones are always very exciting. I just thought I would share one of Lincoln's milestones tonight.







Blogly Question(s):

Do you remember all of your child's firsts? Do you enjoy sharing with everyone when your child hits a really important milestone?



Thursday, August 9, 2012

Imagination Creations

The imagination is a wonderful thing. We all have one. I think as adults we sometimes forget that we still have an imagination. It may not be as wild as when we were children, but we all have an imagination it never disappears. I love watching Lincoln's imagination at work. He pretends to build cars and rocket ships with the peoples. He'll get in his car and give us kisses good-bye as he goes off to work or to school or wherever he's going on his imaginary trip. When he's in a rocket ship he wants us to count down and say "Blast off!". When it's cool enough we'll go play in the backyard. He will just play and play in his sandbox off in his own little world. I'm waiting to see if he'll have an imaginary friend like I did when I was a young child. Watching Lincoln use his imagination reminds me of when I was a child and used my imagination.

When I was about 4-years-old I had an imaginary friend. His name was The Little Man. I don't know where he came from, but there he was one day. He stood about 6-8 inches tall and was always around. He would come with us on trips, but he and I never really played together. He was just always there, like a security blanket in a way. Then one day I announced to my parents that he had gotten married and he and his wife now had 100 children and lived on an airplane. Because in my child mind an airplane was the only plausible for a family of 102 to live. Sometimes I think it's weird that I can still remember all this. But I think that it was such an important part of my childhood that my mind stored it away somewhere safe so that I could remember it when and if my child every gained imaginary friends.

Watching a child use their imagination is wonderful. To see them go off into their own little world and make up people and places is just amazing. Imaginations, though, are not just for children. I have been working on a fictional novel for the past 4 years. It's a horror and adventure story. I have to use my imagination to create the characters and the world in which they are living. I'm sure many writers have to delve into their imagination to create their characters and their worlds and the monsters and creatures that live in that world.

I believe that when we daydream we are using our imagination. We're off in our own world creating things that we can only imagine. Sometimes daydreaming and using your imagination leads to great things. You think up things that you wouldn't when you are normally concentrating on thinking. There are times when I drift off into a daydream and think up new things for my book. My greatest creations come when I am off in my own world.

 The imagination can be a wonderful place and sometimes it can be scary. It all depends on what our mind makes up. I know that for children their imaginations can sometimes get away from them and create scary beings. We then explain to our children about the imagination and how monsters are not real. Or you do what we do, explain that monsters are not scary that they are friendly and they will not hurt you. I feel that by doing this we still let our children imagine, but we teach them that nothing in their imagination needs to be scary.

I don't know why people imagine; what it is in our brain that makes us do so. Whatever the reason it's a great function that we as humans have. To go off into a make believe world where anything at our heart's content can happen. A place to go when we are feeling scared or when we just want to have a moment to ourselves. Watching a children's imagination at work is so special. You get to see them go off on splendid, magnificent, and exhilarating adventures and if you're lucky you'll get to go along with them.

Blogly Question(s):

Does your child have a wild imagination? Do you love seeing it at work? 


Wednesday, August 8, 2012

You're Out of Here (snippet)

I published this post on my BlogHer profile. I am only posting a snippet here. Head on over to my BlogHer profile and check it out.


The majority of my blog postings get started by me reading something in the news that really upsets
me or that I feel really strongly about. The most recent issue in the news that's really grinding my gears is the one about Delhi Charter School in Delhi, Lousiana. They have a new policy where if they suspect a girl at their school is pregnant they will force her to take a pregnancy test. If she refuses to or tests positive then she is kicked out of school. How ridiculous is this!? I know the school offers a home study program for these girls, but is it really necessary to tell them they can't physically attend school because they made a stupid mistake?


I published this post on my BlogHer profile. I am only posting a snippet here. Head on over to my BlogHer profile and check it out.






The Struggles of Nap Time

Most of us parents know the struggles when it comes to nap time and even bed time. For some reason children just don't want to go to bed. I know that I never liked going to bed as a child and I can't remember why or if there was really a reason. Lincoln took 2 naps a day until he was just over a year old, then he went to one longer nap in the middle of the day. That lasted until he was almost 2-years-old, then it was some days he would nap and others he wouldn't. Then we stopped napping him altogether late last year. We stopped the naps because it was just getting too hard to put him to bed. He wouldn't be tired by his bed time and would be staying up until it was almost mine and Gabe's bed time. Then about a month ago we decided to start giving him one nap a day because he was waking up earlier and by 5pm he would just be so cranky.

It is still a bit of a struggle at times to get him to take a nap. Some days he just has quiet time in his room for about an hour and a half. Other days he'll fall right to sleep while I read him stories. Then he has days where he won't fall asleep right away and I'll go and check on him 30 minutes later and tell him it's nap time and he'll get upset and cry and then fall asleep 5-10 minutes later. There are still some days where he doesn't take a nap because he woke up later than usual and there are days where we go out for an activity and he sleeps for 20 minutes on the car ride home and that's enough of a nap for him.

Those of us that are stay-at-home parents understand that there are some days that our children absolutely need a nap because they're so tired. We also know how nice nap time can be for us. Since we're home with them all day and doing activities with them most of the time we need a little quiet time for ourselves. Some times I take a nap too or I watch something that is not age appropriate for Lincoln and other times I just enjoy the quietness and calmness of the moment. I love my son more than words can express, but there are some times when it's nice to just have a quiet house and not have a child yanking on your arm and asking you for this, that and the other every 5 minutes. Nap time is good for both child and parent. We both need time to relax and wind down, so that when nap time is over we are re-energized for more activities.

Blogly Question(s):

Do your children still take naps? Is it hard to get them to go down for one?


Off to School We Go

Gabe and I have discussed when Lincoln will start school quite a few times. Both Gabe's parents are teachers and so he knows a lot more about the schooling system than I do. I started school when I was 3-years-old. I went to a Montessori school and absolutely loved it. Their kindergarten starts at age 2 1/2 years. They didn't do grades, the elementary was all in one big classroom, as was the middle school. I went to this school until I was 11-years-old and then my parents but me and my brother into public school. Since this is what I am familiar with and know of schooling I figured Lincoln would start school around the same age and I wanted to send him to Montessori as well. Gabe doesn't want Lincoln to start school until he is 5-years-old or older. He says that children need to be emotional developed at home before they go off to school. They need to know that they have a security and stability at home before going off to a new environment 4-6 hours a day 5 days a week.

After many conversations I finally decided to agree with Gabe and not send Lincoln off to school until he is at least 5-years-old. Now we are discussing where he should go to school. I'd like to send him to a Charter school here in town that uses Waldorf style teachings. Gabe wants to send him to a public elementary school that does dual immersion. Dual immersion means that he will taught in English and Spanish and he'll be fluent in both by 6th grade. Both are great options and have their upsides and their downsides. I'm hesitant about Waldorf because they like to get into your personal life and how you raise your child when it comes to media. Dual immersion would be great, but I don't know anyone else whose kids will be going there.

Then there is the part of me that is worried about him going to school all together. I see these teenagers that just seem like horrible people and I wonder if they have parents at all. I don't want Lincoln hanging out with people like that, but I also know I can't stop him and the more I try to the more he'll want to go and do what I'm telling him not to do. I also worry if he'll be safe while he's a school. I'm not worried so much about a school shooting or anything like that. It's more so the teachers and adults that will be watching my child while he is in their care. I read all these horror stories about teachers treating students with such disrespect, as if they're not humans at all. I had teachers when I was in school where I wondered if being a high school or middle school teacher is what they really wanted to do or if that was just their back-up plan. I had teachers that just went through the motions and treated students as if we were all the same and we were all bound to fail. I know that no one is perfect, but if you're going to be caring for children and teaching children please put some effort and care into your job.

I also just don't want to be away from Lincoln. Sometimes I think about researching all the helicopter parenting stuff and becoming one of those parents just so I can be around my child while he's at school and keep a close eye on him. But I know that this would not be helpful to Lincoln in any way. He wouldn't be able to become an independent little person if I was constantly around and hovering over him. I know that I have to let him grow up and become his own person, but it's just so hard to think about sometimes. I know the day will come (and sooner than I know) where I will have to drop Lincoln off at school and leave him there for a few hours to learn and grow. I know that when that day comes it'll be hard, but it'll also be exciting and it'll be a new chapter in our lives.

Blogly Question(s):

Has your child started school yet? What kind of school do they go to? Do they enjoy it? Were you scared of them going off to school?


Monday, August 6, 2012

I've Grown Rather Attached To You

Tonight I want to talk about attachment parenting. Is it just an excuse for some parents to keep their children close or is a great way to bond with your child?

I didn't know anything about attachment parenting until I started going to Mommy Group when Lincoln was 3-months-old. At first I learned about co-sleeping and baby wearing. Gabe and I tried co-sleeping with Lincoln a few times when he was a baby, but it never worked for us. None of us would get good sleep and we'd be so tired the next day. Baby wearing, however, I really got into. When I first started going to Mommy Group I saw that many of the moms had the Ergobaby carrier. They all praised it and said what a great help it was in carrying around a baby. I told Gabe about it and that we had to get one, so we did. It was a great help and I loved carrying Lincoln in it everywhere, I still use it now sometimes.

I eventually learned about extended breastfeeding and feeding on demand. When I breastfed Lincoln I followed my mother-in-law's rule of only feeding him every 2-4 hours. She said this is what worked for her and it helps get the child on schedule. If I had been more educated about breastfeeding I think I would have fed on demand. This is where you listen to your child and feed them whenever they are hungry and want to nurse. You don't watch a clock, you watch you child. If we ever have a second child I will for sure do this with them and I know I won't be as nervous or anxious about breastfeeding as I was with Lincoln, since I know what to expect now. I would also do extended breastfeeding the next time around. This is where you breastfeed them past 2 years of age. Obviously this is not their only source of nutrition at this age, but it is still good for them and their developing immune system. I also know that extended breastfeeding causes a lot of controversy in the parenting community. There are some people that don't feel it's right to breastfeed your child after the age of 2 years. They feel that a child of that age should be eating only solids and if they're going to drink milk to drink milk from a cow or a goat or rice milk. Breast milk is a great source of nutrients for a young child and if you want to breastfeed your child until they're 5-years-old (or older in some cases) then that's your choice.

I'd say for the most part Gabe and I do follow most of the beliefs of the natural family living lifestyle which goes along with attachment parenting. We are currently co-sleeping, we don't all sleep in the same bed but we all sleep in the same room which we see as basically co-sleeping. We believe in natural birth and I would do a home birth. We believe that at least one parent should be a stay-at-home, right now that's me but Gabe would really like to be the stay-at-home. It's a parenting style that we enjoy very much and we feel that it's what's best for our child.

I think that attachment parenting is a great way to bond with your child and a wonderful way to raise them. It gives them security and nurturing and helps secure a strong emotional bond between a child and their caregiver(s). I know that if we have the chance to have a second child I will for sure follow the ideals of attachment parenting a lot closer. I've already started to follow them closer as I've educated myself more about it and what attachment parenting exactly entails. I don't think it's an excuse for parents to keep their children close to them, I think it's a way to form a strong emotional bond with your child, to help them feel security, and a wonderful way to nurture them as the grow up.


Blogly Question(s):

How do you feel about attachment parenting? Is it something you follow?


Sunday, August 5, 2012

Another Weekend Gone

It's the late afternoon on Sunday and I feel like we didn't really do anything this weekend. We had plans for Friday that we changed/canceled and yesterday we got to spend the day with a friend. But I always feel like we talk about going and doing something and then when we wake up on Saturday or Sunday morning we just decide to relax at home. Don't get me wrong, I love relaxing at home with my boys. But I also enjoy getting out and doing stuff with them, as well. I understand that Gabe wants to relax on the weekends because he has to work all week and Lincoln and I usually get out to do stuff together during most of the week. But it's also nice to do things together as a family. Yesterday and today the weather here was rather cool, much cooler than it had been the rest of the week. So, these would have been perfect days to go out and do an outdoor activity as a family. Oh well, there's always next weekend.

While I was laying in bed late last night I was thinking off all the things we had planned for this week. Tomorrow morning I have work and in the afternoon Lincoln and I are going to go over to the neighbor's while Gabe is at work. On Tuesday Lincoln and I have storytime at my one of my mommy friend's houses and on Wednesday I have planned a playdate for Lincoln with my friend and her daughter. We also have plans next weekend to either go the the Peddler's Fair in Benicia or go to the Gravenstein Apple Fair. Plus next weekend is also Gabe's mom's birthday, so it should be a very busy and eventful weekend.

I guess some weekends you just need to laze about the house and take it easy. Sometimes I don't think about the fact that we are so busy during the week and when the weekend comes I just want to keep going and do something fun with my family. But I need to remember that we all need a break every once in awhile.

I hope you all are having a great weekend no matter if you're out having fun with the family or staying in and relaxing with the family.


Blogly Question(s):

What kind of things do you like to do with your family? Do you enjoy going out and doing activities or staying in and relaxing more?




The Baby's Crying, What Do I Do?

There are many different parenting styles and there isn't one that is right or wrong. We also all seem to pick and choose the different things from different styles of parenting that we want to follow and do as a parent. When it comes to being a parent this is no one path to follow, there are many. In this post I am going to talk about the Cry It Out Method or CIO. This is another big debate item in the parenting world. Parents debate over whether or not to do it, is it right or wrong, and, if they do decide to do it, their way of doing it.

My mother-in-law highly recommended doing CIO because it's what she did with her children and it worked for them. My mother told me to follow my heart and do what felt right to me because no other mother can tell you exactly what will and what won't work for you. I did CIO with Lincoln to a point. We would let him cry it out for 5-10 minutes and then go check on him and I would usually end up rocking him to sleep either on me or in his bassinet. I just couldn't stand to listen to my baby cry himself to sleep. Gabe is a firm believer in strictly following CIO and to just let them cry until they fall asleep. I cannot do this, so we found a compromise. Lincoln goes to sleep great now and he sleeps through the night.

I know that there have been many studies on if letting your child Cry It Out is harmful or not, especially when it comes to infants. Recent studies have shown that it is harmful and that the reason babies stop crying is because they learn that no one is going to come and get them and comfort them. They just give up because they learn that there is no one is going to come and take care of their needs. I know that a lot of people think that this is wrong and that babies needs should be constantly taken care of no matter what. I also know that there are many people that follow the Cry It Out Method to it's true meaning. Then there are people that only let their child cry for a few minutes and then go and take care of them.

If we end up having another child ever I know that I will do things differently. This is not because I feel that I messed up in any way with Lincoln. It's because I have educated myself much more since having Lincoln and I have realized that there are things I feel will work better if done differently. I know that I will probably not do the Cry It Out Method again and I know that I will do a lot of other things differently, as well (I'll get to all of that in later posts). If you choose to do the Cry It Out Method and it works for you then that's fine, that is your choice. If you don't do the Cry It Out Method and that's works for you, again that's fine and that's your choice. If you're having a tough time with a baby that cries a lot and it isn't due to colic, then perhaps you should do some research and find something that works for you at least that's my best advice.


Blogly Question(s):

Do you do CIO or not? Does it work for you? 

Friday, August 3, 2012

A Change of Plans

So today we were going to go to the county fair. We were all looking forward to it. Then when Gabe got home from his half day of work around 11:30am we decided that we didn't really feel like going. We felt that it was just going to be too expensive to go look at some animals. Lincoln is still too little to ride a lot of the rides and the rides that he can go on we can't and he doesn't understand that you have to stay sitting the whole time. I mean I went over it with him, but he still gets scared on any ride and likes to have one of us with him. We also figured it was just too hot to be out walking around in a large crowd with a 3-year-old. I was slightly disappointed. I was going to write a post about it and I totally had a good title and everything. Oh well, maybe next year.

We went to the fair last year and the year before. We enjoy it other than we always make ourselves sick eating fair food. We don't eat a lot of it, it's just that it's so greasy and salty and tastes good. But goodness it is horrible for you and makes you feel so sick afterwards if you don't eat that kind of food on a regular basis. We took Lincoln for the first time when he was a year old and my dad joined us. We had a lot of fun and Lincoln enjoyed seeing all the animals. Last year when we went it was okay. It seemed a lot more crowded and it was definitely hotter. It was fun to see the animals again, Lincoln really enjoyed the petting zoo and seeing the baby animals. One of our favorite things that we got to see that first year with Lincoln was called Splash Dogs. People entered their dogs into a contest to see how far they could jump into a pool of water. It was fun to see how excited some of these dogs would get over jumping into the water. They don't have that this year, nor did they have it last year. It's always disappointing when they take away one of your favorite attractions.

When I was a kid I always enjoyed going to fairs, but now as an adult it's just not as fun. Everything seems so much more expensive than it was when I was a kid and it probably is. It also seems a lot hotter now when we go to fairs. When I was a kid I had no problem walking around all day in the sun, now I just feel miserable doing it. Oh geeze, I'm not even 26-years-old and I sound some crotchety old person complaining about the corns on my feet.

Fairs are fun to go to, I will say that. But I think they're more for kids than adults. Plus, carnival rides always seem kind of sketchy to me. Last year at the Sonoma-Marin Fair there was an incident where a carnival worker was severely injured by a carnival ride. Then this year at the Sonoma County Fair hydraulic fluid from a ride spilled all over 20 fair goers.  Just doesn't seem very safe to me and all those rides look old and rickety.

I guess in a way I'm kind of glad we didn't go to the fair today. We all would have most likely ended up being pretty cranky by the end of the day. Instead we went over to the farm and caught frogs and released them into the fish pond and Lincoln got to go for a ride on the ATV with is Grandpa. It was nice to go and see family for a little bit and get some of Lincoln's energy out. He's sound asleep right now in a chair, which isn't surprising. He woke up at 7am this morning, which is 1-2 hours earlier than he usually does. We played a lot while Gabe was at work and then the 3 of us played when Gabe got home. So as you can see Lincoln should be pretty tired. It was a nice relaxing Friday and I enjoy any time that I get to spend having fun with my family.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and have fun stuff to do with your families.


Blogly Question(s):

How do you feel about fairs? Do your children enjoying going?





Thursday, August 2, 2012

A Little Time For Yourself

We all need a little time for ourselves. Even though our children are the most important people in our lives, we still need to have our own time. I remember when Gabe and I first started making time for ourselves. Not only making time for date nights, but also time for one of us to go out and doing something on our own. It was just over a year ago that we started doing this for each other. I had had a tough day with Lincoln and was just feeling so overwhelmed. Gabe suggested that I get out and do something with a friend or just go out by myself. So, I went and spent the evening with one of my best friends. We just hung out and talked and when I got home I felt so much better.

When we first started doing this I would feel a little bad leaving Lincoln. Even though he was with his Daddy, I still felt like it wasn't right for me to go off and have fun without my family. But it is alright to do that. You have to have your own time. Especially if you're like us and spend a lot of time together and just hanging out at home. It's good for all of us to get out together and it's good for Gabe and I to go have a date together and it's good for us to go out individually.

There have even been times when Gabe or I have taken out Lincoln so the other one can stay at home and just relax. That's also nice. To just get time at home to read or watch a movie or even take a nap. Just to get at least an hour to yourself is really good. You get that time to yourself to unwind and get some of your sanity back is great.

When I was a kid I used to spend tons of time alone in my room just reading or writing or listening to music. It was just so relaxing and therapeutic in a way. It's just time to be yourself, as well. You don't have to be Mommy or Wife. You can just be you all by yourself and then when the family gets home or you go home to the family you're rejuvenated, kind of.

Seriously though, if you can get just a little bit of time for you it will help so much. If you're feeling in edge with your children or just in general just take some time for you. Go take a walk by yourself or go see a movie or go shopping. It's so nice. If you can't do any of that during the day, maybe take a nice long bubble bath at night after the kids have gone to sleep. I've never done that, but I have taken a long hot shower and felt so much better. Just try and remember that time for you is a good thing and we all need some alone time every once in awhile.


Blogly Question(s):

Are you able to take time for yourself? If you can't or haven't, do you wish you could? What's your favorite thing to do alone?


 

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Excuse Me, Ma'am, But Your Breast Is In My Face

Public breastfeeding. It's a touchy subject it seems. Breastfeeding in general seems to be a touchy subject. There are people for it, people against it, and people that are okay with it as long as you follow their conditions. I'm a person that's for it, but I'm not going to be against you if you don't breastfeed or if you choose to cover up when you do it in public. I breastfed Lincoln exclusively for the first 3 months and then supplemented with formula until he was 6 1/2 months old and then he went over to just formula. He was a very hungry baby and I couldn't produce enough milk fast enough for him, so I decided to supplement. For a long time I was angry at myself for doing this. I felt like I had screwed up as a mother. But then I realized that I did what I had to do to make sure my son was getting fed as much as he needed to be.

While I was breastfeeding I would breastfeed in public and I did not cover up while I did it. I felt that a cover up was a hindrance to me because I had a hard time breastfeeding. I wanted to be able to make sure that Lincoln was latched on properly and stayed on. I also feel that a cover up is just more work. If you don't use a cover up all you have to do is pull out your breast and put it in your babies mouth, nothing else to mess around with. There was one time while I was breastfeeding in public that I got a dirty look. It was when Lincoln was 2 months old we were on our way to Fort Bragg and we stopped at a little burger joint. I hadn't planned on breastfeeding Lincoln while we were there because I thought it was just going to a quick stop and our friends that we were with would get their food and we would continue on our way. But our friends decided they wanted to eat their food there and Lincoln got cranky, so I went to the car and got my Boppy pillow and started breastfeeding him in the restaurant. A woman walked by and saw that I was breastfeeding Lincoln and gave me a really dirty look. I just stared back at her and she walked away without saying anything or taking a second glance.

 A while back I posted about Mommy Wars and how This Time Magazine cover sparked a big one and tons of controversy. I am not about to start another Mommy War over breastfeeding. I am here to just give my opinion. Anyways, there is usually about one article a month on various websites that talk about a public breastfeeding incident or a famous person tweeted about how they saw a mother breastfeeding in public and it bothered them. These are the things that start these Mommy Wars over whether to breastfeed or not and if you do breastfeed if doing it in public is okay or not. If you read the comments on any article talking about breastfeeding there are always people arguing their point and there's always at least one person saying how disgusting and gross breastfeeding is and how could you do that to your child and how they don't want to see "big nasty tits" in their face. These people make me sad and sick to my stomach. If you have to voice your opinion in such a rude and vulgar way then please don't voice it at all.

First of all breastfeeding is natural, that's why women have breasts. Our society and culture has turned breasts into such sexual objects that many people feel that that is there sole purpose, just for sexual pleasure. Women have breasts to feed their children, that is their main purpose, their secondary purpose is for pleasure. Women have been breastfeeding their children since humans came into existence. Those who could not breastfeed hired a wet nurse or, less commonly, did what is called "dry nursing" where the mother prepares food for her child. Also, if you don't like seeing a woman's breast then don't look when she's feeding her child. There's this thing it's called averting your eyes and I'm pretty sure everyone is capable of doing it.

These people that post these mean nasty comments are probably just jealous because their mother didn't breastfeed them or they're not getting any action from their partner. There's also just some people that like to argue and think that their opinion is the only one that counts. Everyone's opinion counts and no opinion is the right or wrong one.

So, can we just put aside our differences when it comes to this topic. There are people that breastfeed and there are people that formula feed. It doesn't really matter as long as your child is getting the proper nutrients. It also doesn't matter if a woman is breastfeeding in public with or without a cover up, just let her feed her child in peace.

Blogly Question(s):

Were you ever given a hard time about how you chose to feed your child?





What Did You Just Say!?

My son, Lincoln, is 3-years-old and becoming quite the little chatterbox. We can't understand everything he says, but he sure does have a lot to talk about. Today he had a conversation with me about going to see the snow and playing in the snow. It was a great conversation! He really wants to go and see snow this winter. He's only ever seen snow in books and on TV, but he has the obsession with wanting to build snowmen and draw them. So, he's constantly talking about going to the snow. His favorite time to talk to me about anything seems to be whenever I get on the phone. I call my dad pretty frequently and every time I do Lincoln comes up to me and starts talking to me about anything. I think he thinks that because I'm talking I must be talking to him. It's really great that he's talking so much, even if we can't understand everything he's saying.


Lincoln talking to me about the mud we made. May 2012



However, there are those times when your child says something and you really wish they hadn't said it. Like repeating curse words or common phrases involving curse words. Lincoln used to repeat the curse word phrase I use regularly, but we've taught him that you shouldn't say it and he understands that it's a bad word. My common curse word phrase is "oh shit", I say when I've forgotten something while out doing errands or when I drop something and it spills. So, naturally, Lincoln picked it up and we had to teach him to say "oh shoot" instead. He doesn't like it when he says it and we correct him, he tells me "no no no, oh shit!". I will say it's kind of funny to hear a small child curse. I have heard a few stories from my friends about their child repeating a curse word phrase. These stories make us parents laugh, but we also realize we need to teach our children that it's not appropriate to use these words in public or in front of company.

It's also not just curse word phrases that children repeat. Lincoln has started to just repeat words that we say. I love the way he repeats words that Gabe and I say while having a conversation. Because he repeats them as a question. It's too cute. Children also learn what to say and what not to say by their parents or an adults reaction. Of course, if we laugh then they assume it's an okay word or phrase to say. Sometimes they say stuff and you just can't help but laugh. Sometimes they say stuff and it just sounds so cute coming out of a 2 or 3-year-olds mouth.

It really is wonderful listening to them learning how to talk. I love how Lincoln says "excuse me, Momma" and how he says please. It's so cute how children learning how to talk will sometimes leave out letters in words they are saying. Lincoln says "'scuse me, Momma" and "Pease", it's just so adorable. Plus, having conversations with your child is absolutely wonderful.


Blogly Question(s):

Has your child every repeated something you've said and you really wish they didn't? Do you love listening to them talk?