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Monday, September 9, 2013

Acceptance

I know it's been forever since I posted, but I'm going to try and get back into this. So here it goes:

 Today I have been thinking a lot about parents accepting their children for who they are. I know that many, if not most, parents do this. We want our children to be happy and healthy and to grow up to be happy, loving, healthy, stable adults. We want what's best for our child and we want them to grow and
become their own individual person. We want them to be the person that makes them happy and we want them to do things in life that make them happy. But I do know there are parents out there that are selfish and want their children to do the things that make them, the parent, happy. But what if what you want for your child and what would make you happy isn't what would make them happy?

For example, if you suspect that your child may be homosexual and that's not what you want for them are you going to try and steer them in a more heterosexual direction with sports or dance or the people they socialize with? If your daughter acts too much like a boy or you son acts too much like a girl are you, as a parent, going to try and make them behave the opposite just for your own comfort and happiness? Because, to me, that's not right. Why not just let your child be the person that they are happy being. Let your son take ballet and wear pink, if that's what makes him happy. Let your daughter play football and wear baggy clothes, if that's what makes her happy.

I don't believe in gender roles. I don't believe in boy colors or girl colors. I don't believe that only men can be construction workers, firemen, or a stunt person. I also don't believe that only women can be maids, dancers, or fashion designers. These are gender stereotypes that have been built up in our society and are being torn down. We should be teaching this to our children. We should be teaching them that it doesn't matter if they are a boy or a girl that they can do what ever makes them happy in life and they can love whoever makes them happy.

If you're afraid that your child is going to be the opposite of what you want want them to be, then you need to look inside yourself and figure out where that fear is coming from. What was instilled in you that made you fear so much? Because here's the thing, just because your daughter acts masculine or your son acts feminine doesn't mean they're going to be homosexual and just because your daughter acts feminine and your son acts masculine doesn't meant they're going to be straight. It has nothing to do with their behavior and what their sexual orientation will be. The other thing too is that they're children and you won't know what they're sexual orientation is until they tell you. Be that they tell
you with words or with actions. Oh and if you're so concerned with what your child's sexual orientation is going to be, before they reach sexual maturity then you really need to sit down and think why you are so concerned with that, because that is not what defines a person.

So please, just love and accept your children for who they are. Let them play and learn about the world around them. Let them be free to be who they want to be. In the long run they'll be happier and so will you. You do not need to worry about the person they will become while they are still a child, just let them be a child and have fun.



 

Sunday, March 17, 2013

It's Not a Competition

When I originally thought about writing this post I was only going to write about how parenting isn't a competition. But then I sat down and thought about how much I feel like people I know are trying to compete in life with others. It even happens in our house sometimes. But life isn't a competition. Everyone lives there life differently.

When it comes to parenting I see a lot of parents that seem to be competing with one another. They brag about what their child can do and they try to one up each other. It's ridiculous and it causes a lot of arguments and Mommy Wars. Parenting is not about how much better your child is at something than another child. It's not about making another parent feel bad for how they chose to feed their infant or give birth to their child. When it comes to parenting we should just be there for one another as parents. Parenting can be tough and the last thing we need is someone belittling us for the choices we make.

There also should not be any competition between spouses. Unless you and your spouse work at the same place of employment and work the exact same job and make the exact same amount of money no two people living together are going to be doing the exact same amount of work and making the exact same amount of money. Gabe works 6 days a week and he works very hard and I am very appreciative of that. I work one day a week for 3-4 hours and the rest of the time I am at home taking care of Lincoln and the house (at least I'm supposed to be taking care of the house, stuff doesn't get done every day). But because the work we do is so opposite there is not way to compare who does more work or who does better work. We shouldn't have to do that. One of us is taking care of our child and making sure the house is staying (mostly) clean. While the other one is working to make money so that we can pay our bills and put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads and clothes on our back. We are both taking care of each other and our child in our own way. In any sort of partnership the two people involved in it should consider each other equals.

Friends compete with one another, as well. But they really shouldn't. I may not agree with how all my friends live their lives or the choices they make, but I don't think that I am better than them in any way. These are the people I choose to be friends with and there is something about them I like and enjoy. I don't want to compete with my friends, I think that that can only ruin friendships. I have had many friendships end over the years for many different reasons. The last thing I want to do now is compete with my friends for whatever trivial reasons and have that friendship end.

Bottom line is that the only time we should compete with others is in an actual competition and life is not a competition in any way.

Blogly Questions(s):

Do others try to compete with you in life? Do you compete with others in life?

 


Friday, March 15, 2013

Life Happens

And it's been happening to us a lot lately. I feel like since the end of January if we haven't been sick we've had some sort of activity or appointment to attend to. It's been crazy busy. It's been like 10 days since I posted last. I know I said I was going to write more, but I think I just have to stick to writing when I write. I have a short list of topics to blog about and I totally know which one I'm going to do next and I know I will write it as soon as I have a chance to.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how I feel like I've kind of disappeared. I'm still here for my family and doing stuff with them. But I feel like Lincoln and I are just going out and doing our own thing together, which is totally fine just been getting used to this thought in my head. I feel like we used to always have activities set up with friends and since we stopped going to Mommy Group 6 1/2 months ago I feel like we haven't seen friends nearly as much as we did before. But in the past few weeks we have gotten together with friends and it's been really nice.

There are some days where I feel like I'm getting a little cabin fever and I feel alone. I just miss having another adult to talk to during the day sometimes. On those days I will usually call my dad and he's a great conversationalist. I don't know what I would do without my wonderful dad some days and I know some day he won't be here anymore, but that's a post for another day.

So, yes life has been happening to us a lot lately. It's crazy, exciting, overwhelming, frustrating, and wonderful all at the same time. Some days suck and other days are great. I'm currently working on getting over the second wave of this damn cold that everyone seems to be getting twice. Lincoln & I have 3 appointments to go to in the next 2 weeks and we will for sure be going to the zoo next Saturday. Our zoo trip has been postponed the past two Saturdays due to exhaustion and illness. We will make it next week and it will be wonderful and I know Lincoln will love it. I cannot wait to write about it. I will blog again as soon as I get a chance, I'm sure I'll find some down time this week during our busy life.

Blogly Question(s):

Does life happen to you and your family?

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Returning

It's been too long since I sat down and wrote out an actual post. We have been overwhelmed and busy. I've been grieving, taking care of sick boys, working on my novel, helping create a wonderful new dream world for L, and adjusting to our new schedule. So here I am writing an actual post about all that has been going on in my life. I will write an opinionated post soon. I just have to figure out what topic I'm going to write on. I had one in my head and then it left me, I'm sure I'll find it again.

So, first things first. At the end of January/beginning of February we all got sick. Gabe & Lincoln got the horrible congestion & fever cold and I got the wonderful stomach flu. We each overlapped one another with being sick for about 3 weeks. It was not fun. We had to cancel a few plans. Gabe & I were so disappointed that we were unable to take Lincoln to the ERTH Dinosaur Zoo due to all of us being sick that day. We were so looking forward to taking Lincoln to his first show. But we knew it was best  that we stayed home and recuperated. I was so happy once we were all better.

mine & Lincoln's crocodile tattoos.
There were many times last month where I had to stop whatever I was doing just so I could cry. I cried a lot last month. I thought I had moved past the crying part of grieving for my friends' loss until last week. I read Lincoln a book called Sweep Dreams that reminded me of Croc. I had to hold back my tears as I read the book to him and I am beginning to tear up a little thinking about that book. It's such a sweet children's book and made me think of my friends' son so much. It's been two and half weeks since the memorial and my temporary crocodile tattoo is still holding up and I don't want it to ever fade away.

There were some happy moments for us last month. We celebrated my dad's 63rd birthday. I was glad that my brother and his fiance were able to join us. The three of them came over to our house and we had a big homemade dinner, all six of us in our tiny kitchen. It was fun and I'm happy for any time that I get to spend with my family. My brother & I enjoy sharing stories from our childhood and laughing about them with our dad. Lincoln enjoys any time he gets to spend with his Pop-Pop and Uncle Griffin. The evening they came over Lincoln & I both still had our crocodile tattoos and Lincoln was enjoying having a pretend tattoo. I then told him that his Aunt Kayla (my bro's fiance) had tattoos. She then proceeded to show Lincoln many of her tattoos and he was in awe and amazement over each one. He really liked the octopus tattoo she has and her heart tattoos. It was pretty cute.

Lincoln showing off his temporary Mater tattoo
We also attended a birthday party last month. It was our friends' son's 3rd birthday. They had it at this place that has a few of those bounce houses. Lincoln has never been a fan. But, we are following a new belief in our house. Love not fear. I told him that the bounce houses love it when little boys bounce in them and that's their job is to be bounced in. I went into the first bounce house and Gabe then handed Lincoln to me. He was not happy at first, but I held him and bounced and he soon saw that there was nothing to be afraid of. Very soon he was running all around and going in and out of all the bounce houses and having a blast. We all had so much fun. It was great to get out as a family and do something fun.

However, a few days after that party Lincoln contracted the same cold he had only just gotten over two weeks before. Luckily, he didn't have a fever this time. Just lots of congestion and coughing. So, for the past week I have been taking care of him. I got him a natural medicine that is supposed to help get rid of the cold symptoms instead of just suppressing them. It seems to have worked, it's only been a week and he's already doing so much better.

helping Daddy cook.
Gabe has been working at his new job for just over a month. We are doing good at adjusting to his new schedule and he has been so much happier lately. I'm still getting used to having to make more decisions when it comes to what Lincoln & I will do for the day and what I'm going to make for dinner. But I'm getting the hang of being more of a stay-at-home mom/housewife. I've been working on my book more and can finally see the end of hand-writing it in sight. Once I'm done with that I will finish typing it up. Then I will edit it and then figure out where I need to go from there. Our final thing that we did recently was create a new bed for Lincoln. This past Friday we went to the hardware store and purchased some PVC pipe and Gabe built a frame for Lincoln that looks like a house. We then put a sheet over it and it's a tent. Sunday night Lincoln decided he wanted to sleep in/under it. So, Gabe put down his old sleeping back and created a little bed for Lincoln. He slept all night and was very cozy. Yesterday evening we decided to get rid of Lincoln's bed frame since it was slightly broken and we moved his mattress and all of his stuffed animals into his tent and that's where he sleeps now. He loves and it's wonderful, I would have loved to have something like that when I was a kid. It's pretty cool and I still need to take pictures of it to post.

being creative.
So, that's what we've been up to lately. It seems like last month was a roller-coaster of emotions, immune system stability, and activities. I'm looking forward to what this month brings. We already have a playdate and zoo trip planned for this week. I've also been keeping up with taking Lincoln to the library once a week, which he is enjoying so much. He loves getting to pick out books and movies and come home and read his books with me and watch his movies with us. He's also getting close to being able to say the entire alphabet without our help. I've been doing a little bit of homeschool with him, but most of that is letting him be creative by drawing, painting, playing with his legos, and just playing in general.

And there you go, a really long but actual post from me. I will be sitting down soon and figuring out some topics to share my opinion on soon. I hope all of you had a good February and are enjoying life.







Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Grieving for Friends

A few months ago I wrote this post and then about a month later I wrote this follow up post both about my friends and their 3-year-old son who had leukemia. Well, just over a week ago their little boy lost his battle with leukemia. I cried for most of the day when I found out and I held Lincoln close and explained to him what had happened to his friend. My heart broke for this family when they first found out that their son had leukemia and now my heart breaks and grieves even more. I pray for them every day and send so much love & strength to this couple. If you would like to help out in any way and learn more about their story you can check out their C is for Crocodile blog and donate via the PayPal link and you can also check out the Caring for Caemon Facebook page. Please keep this family in your thoughts and prayers and hold your little ones close.


Sunday, February 3, 2013

It's Sunday & I'm Getting Ready For...

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Here's what I'm getting ready for this week:

  • Work...on Friday. Yup, my schedule has changed. Gabe's schedule changed at his new job, so I had to change the day I work. It's perfectly fine, it'll just be different at first.
  • Taking Lincoln to his first show at the Wells Fargo Center for the Arts. We're taking him to see ERTH's Dinosaur Petting Zoo on Tuesday and we're all super excited about. Now if we could just get him over this cold.
  • Lincoln & I's first day of homeschooling tomorrow. That's right, I have decided to start homeschooling Lincoln. We are just going to do an hour every morning Monday - Friday and I have a little lesson plan drawn up. I'm looking forward to it and I hope Lincoln will enjoy it.
  • Our weekly trip to the library. It is so much fun to go and help Lincoln pick out books, especially in the non-fiction section, or as we like to call it the learning section. He loves to pick out books about things he wants to learn more about.
  • Some more work on my book. I've been setting a goal of writing at least one page a day. I have also decided that I am going to finish hand-writing it first, then type it, then edit it, and then go from there. I am close to being done and I'm pretty sure I can finish typing it by the end of the year. That's my goal, at least.
  • Hopefully, a trip out with a friend this week. I try to get out every couple of weeks or so with a friend, just to get some me time and time to socialize with another adult besides my husband. Gabe gets to do this as well and it's very refreshing for both of us.
  • A possible trip to the park or something outdoors for Lincoln and I. Since the weather has been so nice and is supposed to stay nice most of this week it would be nice to spend some time outdoors.
And that's what I'm getting ready for this week.
What are all of you getting ready for this week?

 

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

So What Wednesday

So What Wednesday


I'm back to linking up for So What Wednesday!!
This week I'm saying So What If...

  • I haven't worked out the past couple of days.
  • Lincoln & I have had the TV on most of the day. We both woke up with a cold, so it was a relax and stay cozy kind of day.
  • Gabe's schedule is changing at work and it's only his 2nd day.
  • I'm trying to lose weight, yet have been baking about once a week this entire month.
  • Lincoln & I spent all day in our pajamas.
  • I didn't finish the two books I checked out from the library. I realized I own far too many books that I haven't read, so I really shouldn't be checking any out from the library.
  • Gabe has an hour commute to work and we don't plan on looking into moving until the end of this year/the beginning of next year. 
  • I have no idea what I'm going to write blog posts on this week.
and that's what I'm saying So What to this week.
What are you saying So What to this week?